I'm completely miserable. I'm suffering from a clinically defined, open-and-shut case of depression. Technically, I've been awake since 5:30 (not by choice) and I've been wallowing in my misery for the past three hours. I even e-mailed "sick" into work so I can work from home and not have to be around people. And I am going to work - with sprinklings of "Oprah" and "Dr. Phil" in there as well.
Here's what's wrong with me. I've started hating my job. I guess "hate" is a strong word, but I'm very dissatisfied with the current state of my employment. I'm so poor I can't make bills and I've been trying to get a salary increase from my boss for weeks now with no luck (supposedly having a "meeting" about this tomorrow - we'll see). On top of that, I have so much work to do that most of the time I don't even know where to start so I put shit off until the last second (like I'm doing now) and then stress myself even more trying to get it all done by my deadline (which is in four hours). I need more help that I won't get, more money that I won't get enough of and a nice looong vacation that I won't see unless I pretend to be sick (like I'm doing right now) in order to stay home. Well, I guess technically I
am sick - sick of my job...does that count?
Next on the agenda - I hate boys. Seriously, what is the point? Just when you think you may
finally have a
hint of a
potential good thing...crickets. I don't get it. Is it me? Because, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm quite a catch. I'm HILARIOUS, I clean up well and I'm damn good in the sack. So what's the deal? I doubt it has anything to do with the fact that...
I need to lose 10 pounds. Doctor's orders. Well, actually the doctor's orders were to "watch the salt," which I found weird because I'm more of a sweets gal, but according to my physical two Fridays ago, my BP is on the high end of normal, so watch the salt. It would also be great if I could lose 10 pounds (or better, 20) but I have yet to find a convenient way to reinstate regular exercise into my daily routine (a routine that changes daily) and since my gym membership ran out, I just haven't been as active. It's not that I'm lazy, I'm just...sedentary. Probably another reason why I'm depressed - lack of endorphin-release.
OK, let's see, what else am I depressed about? Job, love life, health...I thought there was something else I had to rant about this morning. I guess that's it for now. I just woke up feeling like such a depressed sack of this this morning that I figured I might feel a little better if I got my feelings down on paper (you know what I mean).
OK, it's almost nine. I'm gonna go start my workday with a little "Oprah" now.
Labels: depression
