I have this friend - we'll call her Buffy (it just feels right) - whom I've know since we were freshmen in high school, and, seeing as how that was many, many years ago, we've simply grown apart, as people tend to do.
The thing is, while I realize this, Buffy does not. So she calls me. And I really don't have anything to say to her. She doesn't know any of my friends, since we basically parted ways after high school without officially sealing the deal. She doesn't know anything about where I work or what I do in my free time. And this is because, when she does call me, she goes on and hourlong-plus rant about her life, her problems and her her HER - none of which I care about.
And, since I don't really want to talk to her, I usually ignore her phone calls. I used to do this and then call her back every third time. Then it was every seventh time. But, for the past few months - a year, maybe? - I've gotten so bad that I've probably called her back once out of every - you know what? I can't even guesstimate, THAT'S how bad it is.
SO - a couple months ago or so, after not returning many of her phone calls, I saw her online and IMed her, saying I lost my phone a few weeks prior and recently found it and was in the process of going through all the messages I had received while it was "lost."
She bought it and continued to call. And call and call. And I still didn't answer. Oh my god how big of an asshole am I?
This is how big of an asshole I am:
Buffy just IMed me asking if I fell off the face of the earth.
My reply? "I got rid of my phone because it stopped working right, so now I'm getting a new one."
Her response: "Good." Followed by a lengthy discussion of herself, still in progress.
The moral of the story? If you're that dumb that you seriously believe all that bullshit about my phone not working, then you're just dumb, so it's your own fault.
Or maybe I'm just a cunt :)
