What I'm doing right now is totally inappropriate...

...and I'm not even going to get into it, but let the record reflect that I am being totally inappropriate right now.

So, I think this is officially my first blog of 2008...wait...was that kid-punching thing 2008? It might have been, but I'm not counting that because it wasn't really a blog, it was just me posting a survey/quiz link thing that I did. Just a "I haven't blogged in awhile so I'm gonna post this random thing and hope that suffices for a while." Yeah.

Anywho...as I mentioned I'm being totally inappropriate right now, but seeing as how I'm still not talking about that, I will say that I haven't been "to work" since Friday. And that really shouldn't count because we got sent home around lunchtime, and the reason we got sent home is because - apparently - we've been operating for any given time as a business without the appropriate Chicago business license. Yeah. Which really isn't that big of a deal, but for the sake of not getting fined, my boss has instructed us to "work from home" until this whole thing is cleared up, which, as of now, means we're going to work no earlier than tomorrow - Thursday - morning...for the first time in, like, a week.

And frankly, I'm having a damn good time "working from home." The reason I keep putting this phrase into parens is because, frankly, I haven't really been doing much "work. " I mean, I'm perfectly capable of getting all my shit done from home, buuuuut...I just have so many distractions - i.e: pretty much every talk show on TV right now. "Well, why don't you just turn the TV off, Aim?" you ask? "Because," I respond," I don't wanna!" And there you have it.

Plus, "working from home" is the perfect excuse for me to slack off...meaning that since I am "working from home," I don't have 100% of the necessary tools needed to complete my job at 100% capacity. I have e-mails in my Outlook that I can't access from home, since Outlook is on my office computer. I mean, really, the excuses are endless.

And these excuses are not because I'm lazy - ask anybody! I'm a hard-working motherfucker! I haven't taken a vacation since 2006 - and I was due a two-week vacation in 2007!! So yeah. That's the way that cookie crumbles. Oooh this is long. I'm actually kinda proud of myself!

xo

Put up yer dukes...

24

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Convo o' th' day.

DJ Cinderblock (5:23:33 PM): i just choked on my spit
JoanMwilschke (5:23:51 PM): omg-- did I not teach you anythink
DJ Cinderblock (5:24:11 PM): not really
JoanMwilschke (5:24:22 PM): yes i did
JoanMwilschke (5:24:30 PM): 8-)
JoanMwilschke (5:24:38 PM): how do you think you got cool

Oh, I am such a cunt!

I have this friend - we'll call her Buffy (it just feels right) - whom I've know since we were freshmen in high school, and, seeing as how that was many, many years ago, we've simply grown apart, as people tend to do.

The thing is, while I realize this, Buffy does not. So she calls me. And I really don't have anything to say to her. She doesn't know any of my friends, since we basically parted ways after high school without officially sealing the deal. She doesn't know anything about where I work or what I do in my free time. And this is because, when she does call me, she goes on and hourlong-plus rant about her life, her problems and her her HER - none of which I care about.

And, since I don't really want to talk to her, I usually ignore her phone calls. I used to do this and then call her back every third time. Then it was every seventh time. But, for the past few months - a year, maybe? - I've gotten so bad that I've probably called her back once out of every - you know what? I can't even guesstimate, THAT'S how bad it is.

SO - a couple months ago or so, after not returning many of her phone calls, I saw her online and IMed her, saying I lost my phone a few weeks prior and recently found it and was in the process of going through all the messages I had received while it was "lost."

She bought it and continued to call. And call and call. And I still didn't answer. Oh my god how big of an asshole am I?

This is how big of an asshole I am:

Buffy just IMed me asking if I fell off the face of the earth.

My reply? "I got rid of my phone because it stopped working right, so now I'm getting a new one."

Her response: "Good." Followed by a lengthy discussion of herself, still in progress.

The moral of the story? If you're that dumb that you seriously believe all that bullshit about my phone not working, then you're just dumb, so it's your own fault.





Or maybe I'm just a cunt :)

Must be outgoing, energetic and hands-on...

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/csr/494518209.html

Speaking of the gynecologist...

...I'm going tomorrow...

...I hope I ain't not not ain't riddled with cancer...

Hatin' life. Hatin' it.

I'm completely miserable. I'm suffering from a clinically defined, open-and-shut case of depression. Technically, I've been awake since 5:30 (not by choice) and I've been wallowing in my misery for the past three hours. I even e-mailed "sick" into work so I can work from home and not have to be around people. And I am going to work - with sprinklings of "Oprah" and "Dr. Phil" in there as well.

Here's what's wrong with me. I've started hating my job. I guess "hate" is a strong word, but I'm very dissatisfied with the current state of my employment. I'm so poor I can't make bills and I've been trying to get a salary increase from my boss for weeks now with no luck (supposedly having a "meeting" about this tomorrow - we'll see). On top of that, I have so much work to do that most of the time I don't even know where to start so I put shit off until the last second (like I'm doing now) and then stress myself even more trying to get it all done by my deadline (which is in four hours). I need more help that I won't get, more money that I won't get enough of and a nice looong vacation that I won't see unless I pretend to be sick (like I'm doing right now) in order to stay home. Well, I guess technically I am sick - sick of my job...does that count?

Next on the agenda - I hate boys. Seriously, what is the point? Just when you think you may finally have a hint of a potential good thing...crickets. I don't get it. Is it me? Because, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm quite a catch. I'm HILARIOUS, I clean up well and I'm damn good in the sack. So what's the deal? I doubt it has anything to do with the fact that...

I need to lose 10 pounds. Doctor's orders. Well, actually the doctor's orders were to "watch the salt," which I found weird because I'm more of a sweets gal, but according to my physical two Fridays ago, my BP is on the high end of normal, so watch the salt. It would also be great if I could lose 10 pounds (or better, 20) but I have yet to find a convenient way to reinstate regular exercise into my daily routine (a routine that changes daily) and since my gym membership ran out, I just haven't been as active. It's not that I'm lazy, I'm just...sedentary. Probably another reason why I'm depressed - lack of endorphin-release.

OK, let's see, what else am I depressed about? Job, love life, health...I thought there was something else I had to rant about this morning. I guess that's it for now. I just woke up feeling like such a depressed sack of this this morning that I figured I might feel a little better if I got my feelings down on paper (you know what I mean).

OK, it's almost nine. I'm gonna go start my workday with a little "Oprah" now.